Cross-Gender Interaction

Another of one of my favourite classes among all the classes we had so far for this module. It touches on a topic closely related to daily life and interaction, which is cross-gender interaction. Today's discussion started off with us looking at how language itself can even be gender biased, as we see that "man" is often used generally to refer to humankind, both male and female. For example, we often hear people saying that "the dog is man's best friend." Though the word "man" is used here, but I am sure it refers to both men and women. There are plenty of female dog owners in Singapore, as many as male dog owners, or maybe even more. As such, the use of the language has also certain gender bias in it, and we can also see in many other words and phrases, like "fireman", "chairman" & "businessman".

The other aspect of the discussion today which generated alot of interest is regarding the differences in the way which men and women talk. Dr. Louann Brizendine, clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco states in ``The Female Brain" that ``A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000." With this research, we can clearly see that the average woman talk more than man in a day, and this could be largely attributed to the many words spoken in conversations that the average woman have with other women in single=sex conversations. This is due to other research showing that woman talk less than man in a mixed-gender conversation. I guess in single-sex conversations for men, men generally talk less because men tend to be more concerned with exchange of information, rather than feelings. As such, once the information supply runs out, men tend to put a stop to their conversations.

Also, men generally tend to use less listener responses as compared to women in conversations. This is in line with what we learned from class, that women tend to play the more supportive role in conversations, and give responses to other people speaking. Men, on the other hand, can be pretty quiet while listening, but that should not be misunderstood that they are not listening at all. This could be just due to the way guys are wired up, and how men prefer to speak only when it is their turn. Here are some other interesting differences I have found on the Internet regarding they way men and women talk(just in general, may not apply to every individual):


What a woman says, what she really means...
- I need = I want
- We need = I want
- We need to talk = I need to complain
- Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
- I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
- You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
- Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead

What a man says, what he really means...
- I'm hungry = I'm hungry
- I'm tired = I'm tired
- Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
- Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
- Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn't even look different!
- I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go!
- What's wrong? = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this.

As we can see, the way in which a man and woman talk and what they really want to say can be pretty different. So, I fully agree with the quote that "cross-gender interaction is actually cross-cultural interaction". However, upon saying that, it does not mean we can sit back and not make the effort to understand n appreciate the opposite gender, and to learn to see things from each other view points.

Alright, once again, a video for ya to enjoy: